OLD COOT FANCIES $30m HACIENDA

Morning Star EstateBandicoot reads with interest the proposed sale of Morning Star Estate in Mt Eliza for $30 million. He’s giving serious though to buying, as the Bandicoot Bower is looking a bit threadbare. The Cheese and Kisses has always yearned for a sea view.

The sale has been reported in the pages of The Australian, which breathlessly tells us that the moving picture Kath & Kimderella featured the Barrett family home as a set. Bandicoot has not seen the picture but doubtless the stars capered among the pinot, cabernet and chardy grapes and were amusingly impaled on the 75,000 rose bushes.

The Oz reports that a canny buyer could “capitalise on the demand for short-stay accommodation, with plans in place for a luxury 72-room hotel to complement the existing 20-room hotel”.

The aerial shot shows Morning Star situated north of the hedge-bordered golf course and seaward of the Nepean Highway, with the beach and Sunnyside Rd bordering it to the west and north.

The national daily quotes enthusiastic agent Mr Mark Wizel describing the property as “a flagship holding in one of Victoria’s most prestigious locations. It is incredibly rare for properties of this scale to be presented to the market and we anticipate the sale will attract an unprecedented level of international and domestic interest.”

Bandicoot anticipates the agent’s commission will be incredibly huge.

Bandicoot must scurry off now, to research what planning zone the property is in and whether it is being advertised in countries to our north which communicate via ideograms.

By the way, there’s an orchard among the roses and grapes. What grows in it is not revealed. Bandicoot’s partner, the C&K, is partial to a dish of Morello cherries, and Cox’s Orange Pippins in season for brekky. The Old Coot is a nectarine man.